👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 经济压力下的多代同堂：在父亲去世后，作者的母亲因无力负担房租而搬入作者家中。作者作为单身母亲，与母亲共同分担生活开销，这在经济上是明智的选择，也为双方提供了稳定和支持。文章指出，对于许多拉丁裔家庭而言，多代同堂是一种经济上的必要。

🥪 “三明治一代”的挑战：作者在30岁时成为了“三明治一代”，需要同时抚养子女和照顾年迈的父母。与老一辈不同，当代的“三明治一代”面临着高昂的生活成本、有限的支持系统和快节奏的生活。作者坦言，照顾父母的情感成本远超经济上的节省，她需要承担安排就医、管理药物和关注母亲情绪变化等责任，角色转变带来了巨大的情感冲击。

💔 失去个人自由与成长的代价：作者在照顾母亲的过程中，不得不牺牲个人自由，包括旅行和独处的时间。日常决策也变得沉重，她常常感到不知所措，渴望片刻的宁静。然而，这种经历也让她更加深刻地理解了衰老和独立性的脆弱，变得更富有同情心、更脚踏实地，也更有韧性。

💖 意料之外的收获与感悟：尽管充满挑战，作者也从与母亲的共同生活中获得了意想不到的感恩。共享用餐、母亲的日常照料以及女儿与外婆的亲密关系，都带来了温暖。作者认识到，多代同堂不仅是经济决策，更是一种情感承诺，需要界限、相互支持和对自己与他人的宽容。

When my dad died, my mom lost her companion and financial caretaker.The emotional and logistical reality of caring for a parent was far more complex than I'd imagined.I am constantly stretched thin, balancing my career, parenting, travel, and caring for my mom.

When I got the phone call that my dad had died, I knew that my life would change forever. What I didn't anticipate was how much my mother's next chapter in life would collide with mine.

Not only did she lose her companion, but she lost her financial caretaker. I found myself emotionally and financially responsible for her. With housing costs on the rise, personal expenses piling up, and loneliness becoming her new reality, we made a decision that felt practical and compassionate: she would move in with me.

It made sense financially

For my mom and me, the decision was simple math. After becoming a widow, she was suddenly living on a fixed single income and could no longer afford her apartment. At the time, I was a single mom, so sharing a home was a practical choice.

We combined our financial resources, and having her there meant extra help with the day-to-day. It was a win-win; we both saved money and gained a sense of stability and support.

For many families, especially within the Latinx community, multigenerational living isn't unusual; it's a financial necessity.

There are hidden costs to being part of the sandwich generation

At 30, I found myself in the sandwich generation, a stage of life where young to middle-aged adults raise children while also caring for aging parents. Ten years later, my life is nothing like I pictured it. Yet, my experience isn't unique. More and more millennials are finding themselves in this sandwich generation. But unlike older generations, we're doing it under very different conditions: high living costs, fewer support systems, and the demands of a fast-paced world.

On paper, it made total sense; splitting living expenses helped both of our finances. And most importantly, it ensured that my mom wasn't navigating grief and aging alone. But the emotional and logistical reality of caring for a parent was far more complex than I'd imagined. What no one prepares you for is that the emotional costs of caregiving can outweigh the financial savings.

Suddenly, I was responsible for scheduling her doctor's appointments, managing her medications, and monitoring the changes in her mental well-being that started to decline after my dad passed. The role reversal hit me hard. Watching her fade from the caretaker she once was to someone in need of care broke my heart in unexpected ways.

I also underestimated how much personal freedom I'd have to give up. As a mom and millennial who thrived on structure from balancing work, travel, and the comfort of solitude, my life shifted. Even small decisions felt weighed with responsibility. Can I take a trip without making detailed arrangements for her care? Is it selfish to want an evening to myself? Some days felt overwhelming. I just wanted to come home, curl up on the couch with my daughter, and not carry the emotional weight of caring for someone else.

There are some unexpected silver linings

Despite the challenges, there are moments of unexpected gratitude in our living arrangement. I get to share meals with my mom and connect in ways I wouldn't otherwise have. When I'm drowning in deadlines, the simple gesture of her cooking dinner or watching over my daughter is a reminder that there is someone out there who cares. Plus, my daughter sees the bond shared and what family ties mean.

Living together has also given me a deeper understanding of aging. I see firsthand how isolating it can be for elders, and how fragile our independence can become. It has made me more empathetic, grounded, and in some ways more resilient.

If there's one thing this experience has taught me, it's that multigenerational living isn't just a financial decision, but it's an emotional commitment. It takes more than careful budgeting; it requires boundaries, shared support, and grace for them and yourself.

Caring for your parents doesn't mean losing your own life.

Rosa is a freelance writer and content creator based out of New Jersey. Connect on Instagram.