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- I have two kids and two careers. The lessons I've learned from work carry over to parenting.Both of my jobs require focus, and I've become a more present parent. I've also learned to accept and embrace imperfection.
I never planned to spend my adulthood juggling two jobs alongside my parental obligations. It just sort of happened.
I'm a 38-year-old freelance health writer and an architectural consultant. On paper, the two worlds couldn't be more different. One involves writing about nutrition, fitness, and longevity, and the other involves reviewing floor plans, code requirements, and construction details. But together, they've shaped nearly every part of my life, including how I parent.
For years, I thought parenting meant "getting everything right." I read all the books, listened to all the podcasts, followed the routines, and made sure our kids ate well and slept enough. But over time, I realized my two careers have been subconsciously teaching me valuable lessons about patience, resilience, and imperfection that no parenting book ever could.
The constant juggling act taught me to embrace imperfection
Freelance writing and architectural consulting both operate in unpredictable cycles. Deadlines collide, clients change their minds, and there's never a neat 9-to-5 rhythm. I used to fight that chaos, convinced I could control every variable if I just planned better and micromanaged every minute of my calendar.
Parenting is a lot like that: full of plans that crumble by 8 a.m.
My wife and I have two kids, now 9 and 11. When they were little, I'd try to schedule work calls around nap times or school pickups, but something always went sideways, be it a toddler meltdown, a client emergency, or a missed email. I'd beat myself up about it, convinced I was failing at both roles.
I thought if I simply worked hard enough, I'd eventually strike the perfect work-life balance (if such a thing even exists). Now, I see it as a constant adjustment and more of an understanding that sometimes one part of life demands more attention than the others. Once you learn to accept that, you learn to adapt quickly, go with the flow, laugh more, and let go of perfectionism.
Switching between roles taught me how to be present
When writing an article, I'm busy researching, interviewing experts, and weaving a story together sentence by sentence. In architecture, I'm problem-solving in a completely different way, thinking about construction details, materials, and collaborating with others as a team.
Both roles require focus, and that focus has carried over into my parenting. While my kids don't need me to be around every second, they need me to show up and be present when I'm there. When I close my laptop, I want that to be it for the day. No checking emails during dinner or revising drafts in my head while they tell me about their day. That kind of mental compartmentalizing didn't come naturally to me. It's something my work has forced me to learn over the years.
My kids have noticed, too. When I'm really listening, distraction-free, they open up more. They talk about school, their friends, the things that scare or excite them. I've learned that to be truly present means matching my kids' energy and giving them my full attention, not simply spending time around them.
Having two careers taught me how to model resilience
Of course, some weeks are chaotic and busy enough that I question my choices, such as when assignments fall through or an architectural deadline coincides with an edit request. But my kids see me navigating it, and I think that matters.
They see me working hard, dealing with setbacks, and persevering. They see me take breaks when I'm burned out. I hope this shows them that work isn't just about the money, but that it's also about finding meaning and doing things that make you proud, even when it's hard or you don't feel like it.
I want my kids to understand that there's no single, perfect path in life. You can change careers. You can reinvent yourself. You can build something new in your late 30s, 40s, and beyond. That's what both freelancing and parenting have in common — they're exercises in flexibility, creativity, and learning as you go.
