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- We lost our only source of income when I was three months postpartum in 2023.My husband applied to over 200 jobs, but it was challenging to find work in that market.After exhausting our savings, we applied for government assistance.
The first time I swiped my EBT card at the grocery store, I resolved to use the self-checkout line so I could be discreet.
We just need milk, I told myself.
But as I perused the aisles, a strange lightness overwhelmed me. For the first time in months, I wasn't clenching my jaw at every purchase that chipped away at our savings.
By the time I reached the registers, my cart was full. Still, I chose the self-checkout line, rationalizing that it wasn't a busy hour. When I went to pay, the screen asked me how many 10-cent grocery bags I needed. I paused for a moment, wondering if I'd have to use a different payment method for the bags. The person manning the check-out stations in case anyone needed help — a kind employee I'd known for years — waved her hand in my direction. "Oh, honey. EBT users don't have to pay for bags."
My face flushed. "Thank you," I stammered.
From then on, for a time, the most embarrassing moment of my week became swiping that card and watching "SNAP benefits" appear on the cashier's screen, especially when I knew some of the grocers by name.
They never said anything to me, but I think they wanted to. My favorite grocer looked at me one day and asked, "How are you doing?" in a concerned voice after he swiped my card. Others offered me sad smiles or reassuring words like, "Hang in there, Mama."
I didn't tell them what was going on. Instead, I found myself purposefully choosing a new cashier or a different store just to avoid the stigma of needing assistance.
My husband lost his job shortly after I gave birth to our third kid
My husband and I come from hardworking, middle-class families. We've always been careful with money — bills paid on time, no credit card debt, and a small savings account for emergencies.
But then he was laid off in the spring of 2023 when I was 12 weeks postpartum, and I'd just left my part-time job to stay home with our third baby. Our sole income disappeared overnight.
We stretched what we had by cutting costs, skipping extras, and living on inexpensive homemade meals. But our savings didn't last forever.
Finding a job wasn't as simple as "just applying online"
For seven months, my husband applied to at least one opportunity per day — a total of more than 200. He went through many application portals, pre-screenings, and interviews. We waited weeks between promising panel interviews, only to learn he didn't get a position after coming so close. And he was ghosted — a lot — even by hiring managers who promised to get back to him by a certain date.
I also started looking for a remote job that I could do with an infant at home and took on some side work.
We were doing everything we could. So when a snarky social media post suggested that anyone on SNAP should just download the Indeed app, get a job, and use that to pay for groceries, I winced. If only it were that simple.
Applying for SNAP was humbling, but eye-opening
We finally admitted we could use some government support. The process was surprisingly thorough and rigorous — they wanted to see bank statements, verify income, and interview us to understand our situation. I spent a frustrating number of hours on the application, including multiple long phone calls.
It made me realize how many misconceptions exist about who qualifies. This wasn't a handout for anyone who asked, but for people genuinely struggling. And right now, we were those people.
SNAP helped us get through a rough season, and I'm grateful
I never thought we'd need SNAP benefits — until we did. Accepting help broke down my pride and taught me that this safety net exists for a reason. And while it was hard for me to admit that we needed that help, especially at the beginning, I'm also grateful for the temporary relief that SNAP benefits provided to my family.
As soon as we could stand on our two feet again, we did, and I even returned the remaining balance left on our card.
We weren't lazy or looking for a crutch. We just needed a little help while we rebuilt.
