Andrew Samtoy
- Ten years ago, I married an Englishwoman and moved from the United States to the United Kingdom.I've built an incredible life, but I made some mistakes and learned a lot along the way.I wish I'd known to keep my US mailing address and bank account, and that it's normal to miss home.
Ten years ago, I was on vacation in London when I matched with an Englishwoman on Tinder.
After three dates, we were married, and six months later, I packed my bags and moved to England.
We now live in Edinburgh with our two children, and although I've built an incredible life here, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. Here's everything I wish I'd known before I moved across the pond.
I didn't realize how difficult it would be to maintain connections
Andrew Samtoy
When I first left the US, I thought it would be easy to keep in touch with friends and remain involved in their lives, especially with social media. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for me.
Important life events — from marriages and the birth of children to promotions and moves — became hard for everyone to keep track of amid the distance, despite how much we still care about each other.
Keeping up with family has been difficult, too. There's an eight-hour time difference between the UK and California (where my parents and sister are based), so our calls have to be scheduled in advance.
The only time I can dependably talk to them is on Sunday evenings, when they're waking up and we're not yet putting our kids to bed.
Visits haven't been possible, either, since flying 16 hours with two small and very active kids is impossible for us to fathom at the moment, and my mom doesn't fly. She still hasn't met my youngest son, who's now 3.
It would've been helpful to keep a US mailing address and bank account
Years ago, I was filing my taxes online and found that the US government owed me money. It was glorious — until I realized I didn't have an American address for them to send the check to or a US bank account to receive a direct deposit.
I learned that many American expats recommend keeping a US mailing address and bank account to help make things like banking, taxes, and managing investments or retirement accounts easier. However, it's important not to misrepresent where you actually live when filing paperwork.
Updating my 2-factor authentication before moving could've saved me a lot of time
As soon as I lost access to my American phone number, I couldn't pass the two-factor authentication process to access all of my investment accounts.
Turns out, some American banks don't support international phone numbers, so I needed to set up another authentication option — like an American phone number, an email address, or a Google Voice number — to view my accounts.
Knowing this ahead of time would've saved me a lot of time and stress.
I wish I'd known that it's natural to compare my new home to my old one
Andrew Samtoy
When I first moved to the UK, I expected most things would be easy to get used to. And at first, everything seemed amazing. Healthcare is free for legal residents, it's easy to get around by bus or train, and in many places, you can drink a beer on the street without anyone bothering you.
However, I noticed that little by little, the differences between what I'd come to expect from life in the US — and what I was experiencing in the UK — started to wear on me.
Because of the 24-hour clocks here, I'd text a friend that dinner would be at 6 p.m., and they'd respond: "You mean 18:00?"
It took me an embarrassingly long time to stop comparing everything to "back home" and start celebrating what made the UK unique. I also think the adjustment would've been easier to navigate had I known that this feeling was normal.
I should've been prepared to learn a new language — yes, even in the UK
The idea that the US and the UK are "two nations separated by a common language" is more than a joke.
Some words mean something entirely different here. I ruined more than one dinner with my in-laws by forgetting that "pants" means underwear.
Meanwhile, other items are called entirely different names (see "courgette" instead of zucchini, "lift" instead of elevator, or "crisps" instead of chips), and I've learned that pronunciation can be just as important, too, like "bah-sull" instead of "bay-sull."
Through all of the ups and downs, though, it's been an amazing journey so far, and I'm looking forward to all the lessons I have yet to learn.
