Courtesy of Kaky Daniel
- Kaky Daniel was born in Kuwait and lived in many different countries.Her father was a well-off Frenchman, while her mother grew up poor in Colombia.They taught her to navigate different cultures while still being authentic.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kaky Daniel, owner of KDE Events. It has been edited for length and clarity.
You've probably heard of military brats? Well, I grew up as a hotel brat. I was born in Kuwait and lived all over the world while my dad managed high-end hotels. I've lived in New Orleans, France, Mexico, Colombia, and Canada, among others.
My parents have been married for 45 years, and they're a tale of opposites attract. My dad is a white French man of Jewish ancestry; he was educated at Cornell. My mom, on the other hand, is a Black woman who was raised in a very poor area of Colombia. Her mom was a maid.
Courtesy of Kaky Daniel
They met when my dad was managing the Hilton Cartagena, Colombia. My mom came in for a job interview to help support her six brothers and sisters. When she left, my dad told a colleague he was going to marry her, and a year later, that's what happened.
I used to have 2 birthday parties
One thing I admire about my parents is that they kept me in touch with both sides of the family. I lived in fancy hotels because that was a perk of my dad's job as a manager. Yet, each December, my mom would take me back to her poor neighborhood in Colombia, and I'd play with my cousins.
As a kid, this was sometimes hard. I lived two lives. I would even have two birthday parties: one for my rich private school friends, and another with my cousins. I tried to bring those worlds together, but my cousins and friends were uncomfortable, so I learned to accommodate them.
Today, I identify with each of the countries that raised me
Despite that, my parents taught me to always be my authentic self. I would talk to the hotel owner just as candidly as I could talk to the waitstaff.
Today, I'm 39, and my multicultural background shapes who I am. When it comes to business, I think like an American. There's something about the can-do attitude in the US that doesn't exist everywhere else.
When it comes to love, I'm Mexican. Mexicans have a loyalty in love and friendship that is unmatched.
Courtesy of Kaky Daniel
I eat like a Frenchman — a glass of wine, a salad, and a slice of quiche. And the way I dance? That's Colombian for sure.
I translate between different cultural expectations
I run an event planning and logistics business, mostly focused on weddings. My multicultural background is a huge asset because I can understand what people want and deliver it to them in a way that they expect, culturally.
For example, my American clients want everything in writing. Americans love contracts — that's just how we are.
But if I went to my South American vendors and asked for contracts and contingencies, they'd be insulted. They'd think I was too complicated to work with. They operate on a relationship built on trust.
A lot of my work is translating. I literally translate — since I speak English, French, and Spanish fluently — but also translate cultural expectations.
I'm planning a sisterhood wedding after my boyfriend died
This fall, I turn 40. I'm planning my most unique event yet to mark that milestone: a sisterhood wedding. I'm a wedding planner, so of course I love love. But I also want to celebrate the friendships that have been with me throughout my life.
Three years ago — just three days after my first wedding as a planner — my boyfriend of five years was killed. That taught me that nothing is guaranteed. It also showed me the importance of friendships. Why shouldn't I say vows to the women who were at my side at the funeral home when he died, and who helped me grieve the man I thought I would marry?
Courtesy of Kaky Daniel
My sisterhood wedding, with 60 friends, is taking place in Cartagena, Colombia. It's the same city where my parents rebelled 60 years ago by having a bi-racial, cross-cultural marriage. I'm rebelling too, by professing my love for myself and my friends, rather than for a man.
