📱 **科技育儿的最初动机与陷阱**：作者在事业发展、国际搬家和全职工作的多重压力下，曾将科技产品视为帮助孩子打发时间、甚至学习的得力助手，认为这是一种“双赢”的解决方案。然而，这种“生存模式”下的科技依赖，逐渐导致孩子减少了彼此间的玩耍，更倾向于寻求电子设备的即时满足，同时也让作者自身沉迷于滑动屏幕以寻求慰藉和逃避。这种常态化的科技使用，在不经意间模糊了“在场”与“缺席”的界限，阻碍了真实的亲子连接。

💡 **反思与转变：重塑亲子连接的起点**：当作者意识到孩子对无休止的“刺激”的渴望以及自身同样的状态时，她感到一种“低度内疚”，意识到自己在无意中模仿了她希望保护孩子免受的“分心、过度刺激和缺席”。这次深刻的反思促使她开始在家中做出小幅度的改变，而非进行彻底的“科技排毒”。她重新引入了汽车里的字母游戏、餐桌上的谈话，以及共同绘画和观看电影等活动，核心在于“在彼此身边”，而非追求完美，认识到父母自身的连接状态是培养孩子连接能力的基础。

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 **有意识的育儿：以身作则与连接优先**：作者重新定义了“好父母”的标准，认为除了展现女性的成就，更重要的是教会孩子如何“在场”，如何慢下来、看着对方的眼睛、全然倾听，并选择“连接而非便利”。她强调这是一种主动而非被动的传承，需要觉察力和勇气。她在家中实施了四项屏幕时间规则：审视使用屏幕的默认习惯并探究原因；优先考虑真实的连接而非消费；恢复如睡前故事、棋盘游戏等有意义的仪式；并确保自己对孩子是“可用的”，即不分心，即使每天只有几分钟。最终，她领悟到，真正的传承不在于我们建立的成就，而在于我们为所爱之人付出的专注和陪伴。

As I was building my career, I was stretched thin, so I turned to tech to keep my kids entertained.I started to realize my kids were relying too much on technology instead of connection.I now prioritize family time and make sure I'm more present and intentional with my time.

I thought I was doing the right thing, using technology as part of my parenting.

With two kids, multiple international moves, and a full-time job that never really turned off, I was always busy. I was juggling deadlines, leadership roles, and daily logistics. I was living in survival mode.

Like many parents, I leaned on screens to babysit my children. Sometimes, it was an app that helped them learn. Other times, it was a show that gave me just enough time to answer an email or finish a call.

It felt like a win-win: My kids were entertained (even learning), and I could stay afloat.

But then I started to notice what was changing — not just in them but in me, too. They didn't ask to play together as much. They reached for devices before a conversation. One day, I looked over and saw both my girls, side-by-side, zoned out on devices, and something in me broke.

This wasn't just a habit. It was becoming our norm.

The subtle cost of overstimulation

My daughters grew more impatient as they grew up. Boredom became intolerable.

Car rides, waiting rooms, and even short pauses brought the same plea: "Can I have your phone?"

What they craved wasn't just a screen; it was stimulation. Constant, effortless, on-demand.

I saw it in myself, too. Between calls, I'd scroll. At night, I'd swipe. I was using tech the same way to soothe, to escape, to fill the space.

This wasn't bad parenting or bad tech. It was what we'd normalized in the name of survival.

I felt low-grade guilt. I was doing my best, but I was also on autopilot, performing for everyone and everything around me.

In the process, I was unintentionally modeling the very thing I wanted to protect my kids from: distraction, overwhelm, and absence masked as presence.

We started to make small shifts at home

My daughters and I didn't do a tech detox.
We just started being more intentional.

In the car, we played alphabet games.
At dinner, we talked.
Some days, we painted. On other occasions, we watched movies together —no second screens playing and no scrolling.

The goal wasn't perfection. It was about being present with each other.

I now see that we can't raise connected kids if we're disconnected ourselves. For me, that shift started with my own attention, habits, and modeling.

I had to shift what I believed made a good parent

I used to think my greatest gift to my daughters was showing them how much a woman could achieve.

Now, I believe it's also showing them what it means to be present, to slow down, look someone in the eyes, listen fully, and choose connection over convenience.

That's not a passive legacy. That's an active, intentional one. And in a world that rewards performance over presence, it takes awareness and courage to build it.

But small changes can create a big shift.

I now implement 4 screen-time rules at home

First, I take notice of our defaults: If screens are our first response to boredom (mine or my kids'), I ask why. Get curious, not critical.

I then prioritize real connection over consumption. I often now ask my kids deeper questions like: "What made you smile today?"

I also brought back simple rituals, like storytime, board games — small moments, shared with intention.

Lastly, I make sure I'm available to my kids. I remind myself that they don't need me to be perfect. They just need me — undistracted, even for just a few minutes a day.

In chasing success, I thought I was giving them everything. Now, I know, the real legacy isn't what we build. It's how present we are for the people we love most.