每年开始时，我们常列清单：成就、损失、目标。但常有一事未写：仍存的挫败感。对人的愤怒，错失的机会，他人的过错。我们默默珍藏，在新的一年里，无论是否察觉，这些负担都让我们沉重。愤怒不请自来，它滞留，将小事化作隔阂，阻止我们与他人，有时与自己，重新开始。今日信息：是时候放手了。持有愤怒如同背负石头，放手才能更高攀登。纳尔逊·曼德拉获释的故事：27年牢狱，他有理由怀恨，被剥夺自由，却以惊人的宽容走出。他明白：不释怀 bitterness and hatred，仍困于狱。曼德拉说：“若我不放下怨恨与仇恨，我仍困于狱。”他的选择成为南非和解的基石。对我们意味着什么？放手愤怒并非纵容，而是选择自由，不让过去主宰未来。愤怒常由小事滋生：被辜负、伤人言语、承诺落空。我们反复咀嚼，分析，合理化，愤怒渐长。心理学家说，愤怒源于对正义或控制的渴望。但真相是，愤怒伤害我们甚于他人。研究表明，难以宽恕者压力、焦虑、抑郁更高。愤怒不带来控制，只带来情绪负担。愤怒像心理重担，影响思维、健康、关系、工作。它偷走专注，破坏关系，损害健康。放手愤怒并非遗忘，而是拒绝让它定义未来。放手是过程：承认感受，认识代价，转变视角，决定放手，给予第二次机会，用积极事物填补。放手改变与过去的关系，让你精力聚焦真正重要的事。新的一年，你想背负过去的负担，还是轻装前行？放手是给予自己的礼物，是勇气包裹的自由。
At the beginning of every year, we often make lists. Wins, losses, goals. Yet there’s often one thing we don’t write down: the frustrations we still carry. The anger we still feel toward people. The chances we didn’t give. The mistakes people made.
We hold onto these quietly. They often weigh us down as we move into the new year whether we realize it or not.
Anger doesn’t ask permission to stay. It lingers. It turns small slights into walls between people. It stops us from offering fresh starts—to others, and sometimes to ourselves.
Here’s the message of the day: it’s time to let go.
Holding onto anger is like carrying stones in your backpack. Letting go sets you free to climb higher.
I stood there staring at the cell that held Nelson Mandela. It was an incredible, moving experience for me.
I realize that when Nelson Mandela was released from prison after 27 years, he had every reason to hold a grudge. He had been wronged, stripped of his freedom, and locked away. Yet Mandela walked out of prison not with resentment, but with a mindset that stunned the world.
He understood a simple truth: holding onto anger would keep him in prison. Mandela famously said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” — Nelson Mandela
This wasn’t just a moment of liberation. Mandela’s decision to forgive became a cornerstone of his leadership. It allowed him to unify a fractured nation and guide South Africa toward healing.
What does this mean for us?
Letting go of anger or resentment isn’t about excusing what happened. It’s about choosing freedom. It’s about refusing to let the past own your future.
why we hold onto anger
Most anger starts small. Someone let us down, said something hurtful, or failed to deliver on a promise. Over time, we replay the moment. We analyze it. We justify our feelings. The anger grows.
Psychologists explain that holding onto anger often comes from a desire for justice or control. If someone wrongs us, holding onto resentment feels like a way of holding them accountable.
But here’s the hard truth: holding onto anger hurts us far more than it hurts anyone else.
Studies show that those who struggle to forgive experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Anger doesn’t give us control. It gives us emotional baggage.
the cost of holding onto anger
Think of anger as a mental weight you carry with you. It doesn’t just affect your thoughts. It impacts your health, relationships, and even your performance at work.
It steals your focus: If you’re preoccupied with frustration, it’s hard to fully focus on your goals.It damages relationships: Anger creates distance. It makes it hard to offer second chances—even to those who might deserve them.It affects your health: Chronic anger can lead to physical symptoms like headaches, high blood pressure, and weakened immunity.
Letting go of anger doesn’t mean the past didn’t happen. It means you refuse to let it define your future.
practical steps to let go
Letting go of anger isn’t a single act. It’s a process. These steps can help you work through frustration and find freedom on the other side.
Acknowledge your feelings. Start by naming the anger. Write down who you’re upset with and why. Be honest. You don’t need to share it with anyone. But identifying the source is the first step toward letting it go.Recognize the cost. Ask yourself: What is this anger costing me? Is it affecting my sleep, my peace of mind, or my relationships? Reflecting on the impact can create motivation to move forward.Shift your perspective. This step is hard but transformative. Ask yourself, What might have led to this person’s behavior? Maybe they were struggling in ways you didn’t see. Shifting your perspective doesn’t excuse their actions. It humanizes them and helps you soften your grip on anger.Decide to let go—for yourself. Letting go isn’t about the other person. It’s about you. It’s a choice to release the burden you’ve been carrying. Say it out loud: I choose to let this go.Give someone a fresh chance. Letting go isn’t always about forgetting. It’s about allowing room for a new chapter. Consider whether someone deserves a second chance—and whether you’re ready to offer it.Replace resentment with something new. Nature hates a vacuum. Once you let go of anger, fill that space with something positive. Focus on gratitude, personal growth, or connection with others.
the freedom of letting go
Letting go doesn’t erase the past. It changes your relationship with it. When you release anger, you reclaim your energy and focus for what truly matters. You start fresh.
Think of the year ahead as a blank canvas. Do you want to carry the weight of past frustrations into it? Or do you want to move forward lighter, freer, and ready to embrace new opportunities?
Letting go is a gift you give yourself. It’s freedom wrapped in courage.
forgiveness quotes to carry with you
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” — Nelson Mandela
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewis B. Smedes
“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.” — Maya Angelou
“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” — Desmond Tutu
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” — C.S. Lewis
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” — Mahatma Gandhi
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” — Anne Lamott
“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive.” — Henry Ward Beecher
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” — Robert Muller
