It’s in the glance across the table. The pause before a handshake. The way someone leans in—or leans away. Leaders who understand this have an edge.
Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s research is often quoted to show that only 7 percent of communication is verbal, while 93 percent is nonverbal. That’s only partly true. His study was about feelings and attitudes. But even if the numbers don’t apply broadly, the principle stands.
We trust what we see more than what we hear.
If a leader says “I’m excited” with folded arms and no expression, no one buys it. If a leader says “We’re going to be fine” while pacing and fidgeting, the team feels the tension.
Words matter. But tone, timing, posture, facial expressions—those send signals that shape trust.
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” — Peter Drucker
actions echo louder than speeches
Nonverbal cues tell people whether you are confident, afraid, distracted, or engaged.
Watch a great communicator like former President Ronald Reagan. He was called “The Great Communicator” not just for his words, but for the calm assurance in his presence.
In meetings, people look at leaders even when they’re not speaking. That glance you give to someone across the room might feel like nothing to you. To them, it might mean encouragement. Or doubt.
I once worked with a leader who never raised his voice. But if he slowly set down his pen, you could feel the air change. People stopped. Paid attention. He didn’t need to say a word.
mirror signals and mismatched messages
Studies show that we tend to mirror each other.
A leader who stays open and relaxed helps others do the same. A tense leader creates tension all around.
It’s why congruence matters. That’s the alignment of words and behavior.
You can say “I’m listening” but if you’re checking your phone during the conversation, your team sees something else.
The best leaders align message and presence. They speak through words and through energy.
The best leaders align message and presence.
learning to see the invisible
Great leaders learn to read a room. Not just the spoken objections. But the glance to the side. The fidgeting hand. The raised eyebrow. These are clues. Clues to emotions, reactions, and questions not yet voiced.
You don’t need to be a mind reader. But you do need to be an observer.
Watch. Pause. Pay attention to what’s not said.
You’ll see when your message lands. And when it doesn’t.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
be you or it won’t work
Now a warning: You can’t fake nonverbal communication, at least not for long.
People sense it.
If you smile but your eyes are tired, they know.
If you try to imitate someone else’s energy, it rings hollow.
The key is to lead within your own style.
If you’re naturally high-energy, let that show. Move, gesture, speak with passion.
And if you’re calm and quiet, own that too. Your stillness carries weight. Your presence can fill a room without raising your voice.
Authenticity is the foundation.
Otherwise, your signals don’t match your intent. People can’t follow what they don’t trust.
Authentic presence doesn’t mean staying the same. It means knowing who you are and working from that place—growing, stretching, but never pretending.
Lead from your strengths, not someone else’s playbook.
how to improve your nonverbal leadership
Record yourself in meetings. Watch with the sound off. What do you notice?Ask a trusted colleague for honest feedback. What do you signal without knowing it?Practice alignment. Match your words to your tone and body language.Slow down. Stillness can project confidence more than speed ever can.Look people in the eye when you speak. Not all the time—but enough to connect.
