Tim Graham
- I used to overplan my vacations — and felt exhausted.So, I created a rule to help me have a great trip without packing too much into my itinerary. This "3-3-1 rule" has helped me slow down, be more present, and say yes to the unexpected.
It was sometime between my third coffee of the day and the moment I realized I'd slept through an evening light-and-water show in Singapore that it hit me: I'd planned the "perfect" itinerary — and I was miserable.
I'd ticked off the must-sees, marched through museums, and photographed every plate of food before taking a bite. But I was exhausted, irritable, and strangely disconnected. This wasn't how travel was meant to feel.
After too many whirlwind weekends and burned-out "breaks," I decided to make a change, using what I call the "3-3-1 rule."
I've created a framework that adds structure to the trip but leaves room for spontaneity
Tim Graham
The "3-3-1 rule" is my simple, go-to framework for short vacations. Here's how it works:
- I pinpoint three experiences I'd like to have during the trip: Think museums, walking tours, scenic viewpoints — the things you travel to do.I carve out time for three special food or drink stops: This includes anything from a street-food stall to a sunset cocktail or a mid-morning cinnamon bun. In my opinion, half the joy of travel is what you taste along the way.I aim to have one wild-card experience: This is the unplanned magic — a second visit to somewhere I loved, a spontaneous detour, a stop based on a tip I got from a local, or just watching the world go by without my phone in hand.
I didn't invent this rule overnight, though. It evolved trip by trip, after years of overloading my days and leaving places feeling like I needed a holiday from my holiday.
What makes this balance work for me is that it hits three different kinds of satisfaction at once: curiosity, appetite, and spontaneity.
It gives me a sense of discovery and achievement, builds in natural breaks to slow down and savor the moment, and prevents the whole trip from feeling too rigid.
Since then, I've used it both abroad and at home
Tim Graham
On a trip to the Baltics in May, my rule led me from Soviet-era relics to bohemian cafés.
In Riga, Latvia, I chose three exciting activities, including visits to the Aviation Museum, Central Market, and the Panorama Riga Observation Deck, where I ended the day with a sunset view.
During my trip to Central Market, I tucked into hearty zeppelins (also known as cepelinai) — potato dumplings stuffed with ground meat.
Then, in Estonia's capital, I sampled Vana Tallinn, a surprisingly smooth local liqueur. And in the Užupis district of Vilnius, Lithuania, I lingered over coffee and a Tinginys, a dense, chocolatey slice of indulgence.
My wild card of the trip? A last-minute tour of the KGB Museum at Hotel Viru in Tallinn, which provided a glimpse into the city's Cold War past.
Tim Graham
Closer to home, I also visited Cambridge, England, earlier this year and enjoyed boating on the river, a free guided walking tour, and visiting the Centre for Computing History.
I rounded out my visit with a pint at The Eagle Pub, a delicious Chelsea bun at Fitzbillies, Indian street food at Dishoom Permit Room, and an unplanned peek into a bookshop that stole my afternoon.
I get to go to bed feeling like I've been somewhere — not just survived a checklist
The "3-3-1 rule" works solo, with friends, or even when I'm showing someone around. Some days are more food-heavy, and others are more scenic or cultural.
The point is, though, it's enough. It's about remembering more and being present for experiences — noticing the smell of the bakery, the rustle of trees, or the joy of revisiting somewhere I loved instead of rushing to the next spot on a list.
It's given me permission to simplify, and in doing so, my trips feel richer, more connected, and more joyful.
So, whether I'm exploring a city for the first time or returning to a favorite, this is the rule I'll keep.
No more missed light shows or rushed meals — just three things to see, three to taste, one wild-card experience, and time to savor it all.
