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- When my kids went back to college, I went on a cruise alone without my husband.Although I had to push myself outside my comfort zone, I loved being alone.I learned that I don't have to tie my happiness to my family.
Greeted with a warm smile, I scanned my seapass and reminded myself that these next few days would be an adventure, a respite, or whatever I chose them to be.
There would be no prodding to get grumpy teenagers out of bed or debating when is the best time to have lunch. This cruise was about me, and I was proud of it.
As a mother, many years have been spent supporting others' activities. I've spent hours in carpool lines or at swim practices. I had no alone time.
But now my kids are in college. After they went back to campus this fall, I took an opportunity to go on a cruise alone. While it would have been nice for this quick getaway to be a couple's trip, it was not in the cards.
Instead, I chose to embrace my party of one, and I couldn't be happier.
Traveling alone does not bring loneliness
Anyone who has been on a Royal Caribbean ship knows its vast size. While the ship is full of neighborhoods, I easily found spaces that allowed me to thrive. Sitting in Central Park, sipping on a cocktail, was my first opportunity to turn this trip for one into a new perspective.
While I can easily converse with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, talking to a stranger has never been my strong suit. This solo cruise was about choosing to do different things and embracing the uncomfortable. Instead of ordering my favorite beverage, I asked a stranger about her colorful cocktail. It might not seem like a lot to others, but a few words and a smile allowed my self-doubt to fade.
If I had been with my kids or husband, I would have never started that conversation. I would have been focused on them, making sure everyone was having fun, and my enjoyment would have been tied to the smiles on their faces.
Even though the words were brief, they gave me a mental boost. My question was not rebuffed, and the moment did not turn into an unbearably long conversation. It showed me I could choose to navigate this vacation and other aspects of my day however I wanted because I was in charge.
At that moment, I was No. 1 on the priority list. Even though I was by myself, loneliness did not fill my mind. Instead, I celebrated the ability to put my preferences, wants, and needs first. More importantly, it served as a reminder to do that in my daily life.
A table for one is the best seat in the house
On the first night, I decided to venture into the main dining room. While cruise ship dining might not have the formalities of the old school "Love Boat" series, a table for one is not the norm. Instead of feeling self-conscious, it was my time to give myself some grace and continue to bolster my confidence.
Instead of relying on my armor of a book or my phone, I chose to be present in the experience. From looking out a window to watching other diners, it was a time to reflect. Never did I feel jealous that I wasn't laughing with my husband over a silly moment from the pool or coaxing my kids to give me more than a one-word response to my question. It was a time to look, think, and appreciate the opportunity that was given to me.
It sounds simplistic, but spending an hour focused on myself is a luxury that I do not often take advantage of. This meal served as a reminder to carve out those moments more frequently.
Vacations end, but lessons are forever
Although I spent just a few days on that ship, little moments linger in my mind and compel me to keep revisiting those lessons learned.
Choosing to put myself first, give myself grace, and push myself out of my comfort zone were all gifts that I would not have opened on another family vacation or couples' trip.
Would I go on another solo cruise again? If the opportunity presented itself, the simple answer is yes. Sometimes the best way to find mental strength is to follow your own path.
